Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Santa applied for the position of Mechanical Engineer. In interview:
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup.
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated. Drank poison said, "ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!"
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: George Washington's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Washington's skeleton when he was a child.
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, ye Ayodhya kaise chala gaya?
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto
Banta asks: Why r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.